Saturday, September 09, 2006

Women as Neckties?

A fellow blogger posted an intriguing article comparing Men to shoes. Now, there is no need to get offended before reading it. I found it witty and appealing. If it were music I would put it in the category of a light sonata.

It got me thinking though, I know women are mysterious, incomprehensible creatures (just read the comments on some of my earlier posts and you will get the drift) but can I compare them to items in my wardrobe as well?

So I took a walk in my walk-in closet and looked at that huge collection of neckties and said that’s it. Women are like neckties.

The good news is that we hold you around our necks, unlike shoes which are stepped on in very dirty environments, picking up all kind of filth, bacteria and mud. We tend to take extra care of our neckties.

The bad news is, you never look good around our necks unless TIGHTLY TIED!!! The bad news here is for us men of course, I am sure you don’t mind being tied around our necks with the tightest knot ever!

I started picking up the ties and remembering where I got this one, or who gave me that one and why.

My first three ties were Pierre Balmain, given to me by this French girl I dated for a semester my first year of college. Designed to be just a fling, I only wore them while dating her, their appeal quickly faded as fashion done them in!

Then I had this Nautica tie. Simple, straightforward, happy and colorful design. Problem is it’s too casual. Only good at an outdoor barbecue party with distant family members you see once in a blue moon.

Then I found this Izod tie. Should have never been a tie, Should have never gotten it.

The Kenneth Cole tie, I bought. Later on, I thought it was too expensive and not worth it. Not a good feeling. Thank God, I can’t compare any of my relationships with that one.

Lo and behold I found that Emporio Armani tie. Hum, not quite an Armani and fails miserably trying. Should stick to jeans I guess and never venture into “Necktie Territory”.

Then there “she” was lying majestically at the end of the drawer, hidden from prying eyes and pesky dust. Ermenegildo Zegna, my favorite of all time. Quite expensive to acquire but so chic and sober it never goes out of fashion. Made from the best silk. She’s for keeps. Too bad, the one who gave it to me is married on the other side of the world but at least in my fond memories every time I wear the tie.

I do have a Boss necktie. I hate the name though. Design is too cocky. I think I will recycle this one.

A couple of Tommy Hilfiger ties have good designs but they would be too flaky to wear to any serious event. No brains I guess. Hold your horses, these were my choices to buy.

Then I contemplated my whole collection of unbranded or unheralded neckties. Each had something special about it. A special period of my life, a special someone during that period or just me and myself battling it out with adulthood or manhood.

Then it occurred to me. In my case, there is no way I can compare my neckties to women. I have so many of them which I don’t even wear anymore. No one in his right mind could entertain that many women with so many different tastes.

Besides, the last time I wore a necktie was 6 months ago during a funeral!!!


p said...

you re funny.
good that you decided that women won't be comparable to neck ties.
I am sure one of them would have chocked you one day.

Ana Min Beirut said...

Oh, I had my share of "breathing problems" believe me. Nothing major though, the lungs are still good to go ....

Maya@NYC said...

i don't want to be a necktie... i would be there, the world would see me, but my man, wearing me doesn't. you don't choose a necktie for choose it because it fits your suit, your shirt, it fits the occasion....
all ties have the same shape, the same forms...only the colors change...
no...women are too complicated to be just neckties....

Anonymous said...

LOL! i dont like ties. at all.

a h m a d said...

Great fun to read. It taught me a lot about neckties. ;)